6/26/2015 – A Fine Day

Do you hear that? The roar of celebration sweeping across the United States of America? The cries of joy – charged with emotion and tears? This is Marriage Equality. Finally, it has arrived.

Do you feel that? The swell of positive emotions from others reacting to this historic occassion? Vibrating and resonant deep within your chest as you reflect on what it means now that the law recognizes you as equal in terms of marrying someone you love.

Do you see that? The immense amount of work that is still left to do for the other members of the LGBT community who are in need of equality – specifically trans* people of color. Marriage Equality is a grand victory but it does not mean that the fight for equality is over. Things will not suddenly be peachy. Intolerance and hatred are, unfortunately, not so easily defeated.

Do you smell that? The celebratory dinners, barbecues and parties that are being held in honor of this momentous decision. Along with the gay wedding cakes and gay wedding pizzas too.

Do you taste that? The salty, bitter tears of frustration from those who have spent millions of dollars and countless hours attempting to curtail a segment of the population merely for being different. Merely because they did not agree with how another person lives their life. It’s okay, Opponents of Equality, this ruling has literally NO effect on your lives.

Today has been a fine day. Tonight will be filled with celebrations, laughter, smiles and tears. But tomorrow and beyond will need continued focus and dedication from those in the LGBTQ community (and allies) in order to fight for equality for ALL.

FitBit a Hit With Dimwit

For my birthday on Monday, I got a Fitbit.

It was something that I had asked for after seeing how much fun my friends were having with theirs. “Damn it!” my friend Colin said shaking his rubber-bound left wrist. “Joey has like 6,000 steps on me! He’s probably at the gym right now on a treadmill!”

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused and slightly concerned about how well Colin knew Joey’s walking habits.

Colin proceeded to explain his Fitbit war with Joey. Apparently, you can challenge your friends to see who can get the most steps in a day, week or weekend. The app updates in realtime and is in constant communication with the Fitbit around your wrist, so it’s always an ongoing race to be on the top of the step leaderboard.

I thought this sounded fun and, with my birthday around the corner, I figured it would be the perfect present for me.

In the past two years or so, I’ve become much more invested in fitness. I finally overcame my fear of looking like a moron in the weight room at my gym and have been maintaining a (mostly) consistent routine for a while now. I am a certified Zumba instructor and even have my own class every Mondays for the employees of a large grocery chain’s corporate office here in San Antonio.

It seemed to me that a Fitbit would be an interesting way to keep track of my activity and give me some kind of an idea of how active I am (or not) and how to take it to the next level, if need be. I had already read David Sedaris’ hilarious piece on his Fitbit and it seemed like something I would like.

One thing I didn’t realize about this thing, now that it’s comfortably strapped around my wrist, is how addictive it would be. I find myself constantly tapping the band and refreshing the app to see how far away I am from my step goal for the day. Having friends that I’m pitted against makes it even worse for me as I’m rather competitive by nature.

This point was proved to me when I saw just how many steps I was afforded for a Zumba class: almost 5,000! I strutted happily back to my car after my class had done, enjoying my comfortable lead.

Participating in these Fitbit challenges, I’ve realized, requires a lot of upkeep and dedication to being active. In doing so, I’ve seen how lazy I am. Yesterday, I wasn’t really up to doing much and decided to read for the majority of my day. Out of habit (it had been two days). I checked my steps and saw that Colin, of all people, had surpassed me! The bastard.

Fueled by the desire to show him up, I made my way to my garage and practiced my Zumba routines for about half an hour. When I was finished, I breathlessly tapped on the black band, leaving a salty smear of a fingerprint and finding that I had pulled past him by almost 2,000 steps! Victory was mine – for now!

In the three days that I’ve had this thing, I’m finding that my desire to accumulate as many steps as possible has me doing things that are rather illogical.

While getting ready to leave the house, I realized I had forgotten my keys upstairs. I ran back up the stairs with a smile on my face – more steps! Ha! I walked around my car once, pretending to check the tires for any deflation but really just racking up ten or so more steps for my daily goal. At a restaurant, a waitress led me aimlessly through a section before she realized that there were no open seats. “No worries!” I said cheerfully as we scooted awkwardly through chairs of people, making our way back to the front. “I need the exercise!”

“Isn’t this thing cool?” I said as my mom held my phone, watching the steps increase one-by-one as I lapped the living room. “I want you to feel when I hit my goal, I’m super close!”

When my goal was finally reached, I relished in the happy vibrations around my wrist. I pressed it to my mother’s arm and smiled stupidly. “Isn’t that awesome?!”

I felt like a pregant woman who had just felt her baby kick for the first time.

Even while writing this, I’ve tapped my Fitbit at least twice to see where I’m at in my daily quest for 10,000 steps. I haven’t moved a damn inch and yet I still feverishly check. To my dismay, Colin has usurped the lead and is now ahead by a few thousand steps.

I think it’s time to run up and down the stairs a few times.

Eurovision Babbling pt. 2

Alright! Having written about the first semi-final, it’s time to tackle the acts that make up the second semi-final!

Lithuania – I love this song! Loooove. Love loooove. It’s bluegrass-y, Mumford & Sons-y goodness. It’s got a catchy chorus and is easy to sing along with. Especially that……………….pause! In the middle of the song. I think this will most definitely qualify. High hopes for it to do well after that, but I can’t say for sure.

Ireland – I quite like this song. Although last time I was gunning for Ireland, poor Ryan Dolan finished (UNDESERVINGLY) dead last. I definitely think that Molly Sterling is talented. I don’t know if she’ll qualify for the finals, though. I would love to hear this song on the radio, though.

San Marino – This song is well-composed. The vocals are cute. But meh. I’ll pass. Although San Marino could surprise everyone and possibly qualify like it did last year!

Montenegro – I’ve always really enjoyed the acts from Montenegro! Even more so, I like that they’re sung in Montenegrin! I don’t care if I don’t understand it, it’s beautiful to hear songs sung in native languages. I can’t say if they’ll qualify, but it’s a beautiful song.

Malta – Malta! Maltaaaaa! Every year, I gun for Malta to do well. And every year they DON’T. I feel like Malta is such an underdog every year and I hope that they do well this year! I’ll most likely keep loving them for years to come haha.

Norway – Man. Talk about a heavy song. I like it, though. What? No…no I’m not *sniff* I’m not crying. NO, YOU SHUT UP!

Portugal – Again, I love songs that are sung in their native language!! I was bored on my first listen but the more I listen to it, the more I enjoy it. Her voice is great!

Czech Republic – Sorry, Czech Republic. Not digging this.

Israel – One of the only uptempo songs this year, it seems. Cute song! It will most likely advance. Although, after last year’s SHOCKER of Mei Finegold not making it through, I don’t even know.

Latvia – Great vocals. I’m excited for this song. It will most likely qualify.

Azerbaijan – Meh. It’s alright.

IcelandYES. I think this is maybe my favorite song this year. I’m definitely getting some Emmelie De Forest and Taylor Swift here…but damn. I love it. And listening to this song in Icelandic? Even better! I hope this qualifies and does well!

Sweden – Alright. This is definitely an #UnpopularOpinion, but I really am not feeling Sweden’s song this year. Sure, it’s catchy, but that’s all. Måns is talented and I’ve liked him for years. But…this song is nothing really new to me. I mean, Sweden are always a powerhouse….but I’m really confused by the tidal wave of support that Sweden has this year. No doubt this will make it to the final and will collect an obscene amount of douze pointes….but I really don’t think Sweden deserves a win this year.

Switzerland – Meh. I would hate to have to perform after Sweden.

Cyprus – Meh

Slovenia – A ray of light in a forest a of ‘Meh’ closing acts for the second semi-final.

Poland –  Meh

 So those are my thoughts! What do you y’all think? Agree? Disagree? I’m especially curious to hear if anyone feels the same way about Sweden that I do haha. 

Eurovision babbling 1


Now, as an American, I love watching Eurovision. I find myself to be mostly objective about the entries. Being so far removed from Europe, I don’t get caught up in all the political hooplah. I think it’s really more about the performances for me.

It is a bit lonely sometimes, though. Most Americans know nothing about Eurovision! But there are some who do. They are the few glittering sequins adorning this dark, clueless tapestry of the U.S.

2015 is looking to be an interesting year. (Can we talk about AUSTRALIA, THOUGH?!)

Here are some of my thoughts on the entries this year! From the first semifinal:

Moldova –  Pretty generic 90s sounding Euro pop. Weren’t there also allegations of this guy cheating the national selection process with voter fraud? It sounds like a well-known song…but I can’t place my finger on it.

Armenia – Hmmm there was a lot of hype for this entry, right? They released all the members one by one etc. I usually love Armenia’s stuff, but this is a bit underwhelming.

Belgium – This sounds like a song by Lorde. Maybe a bit too downtempo for Eurovision? Might be a surprise hit, but I’m not terribly impressed =\

 The Netherlands – “Whyyy why yai yai yaiiiii” – this song sounds familiar to me too! Why?! Where is that hook from?! This song is catchy and, judging by the surprising (to me) 2nd place last year, the Dutch entry could be a surprise!

Finland – This entry. I’m torn. On one hand, I’m impressed and inspired that Finland sent this act. It’s incredibly brave – especially considering how nasty ESC fans in other countries can be. On the other hand…I feel like it’s a bit gimmicky? We’ve seen this kind of an act out of Finland before – and it won. But I doubt it’ll be repeated again. Plus, it’s incredibly short.

Greece – Greece, what? A ballad?! I always rely on Greece to provide me with some kickass, uptempo ethnic-sounding dance party tune! I’m not digging this =\ She’s talented and everything, but meh.

Estonia – I’m honestly surprised by how much I like the Balkan entries this year! This might be the weakest one, but I still enjoy it! I think Elina’s vocals definitely outmatch her dude counterpart. This song is catchy, though, and I think it’ll do well in voting. Most definitely making it through to the final.

F.Y.R. Macedonia – I think this song is nice. It works well with the music video…but I predict it will be kind of boring when performed live. Maybe I’m wrong, though.

Serbia – Guuuuuurl. This song definitely feels like a favorite this year. Although, I think it needs to be sung in Serbian. I feel like translating it to English kind of waters it down. At least mix the two languages like Poland did last year. I think it’ll advance, though. Definitely.

Hungary – Okay. Like, I get what they’re trying to do and I respect it. But I don’t think this song is going to be received well at ESC. They already had some controversy over it; a sentence referring to how many children were killed in the Gaza conflict was removed from the background. This is one of those politically-charged songs that just kind of ekes past the guidelines about ‘no political statements’.

Belarus – After the shitshow of an entry last year, I’m glad to see Belarus sending a better act. It’s catchy and it has a cool beat. It’s not one of my favorites, but I think it will definitely advance to the final.

Russia – Eh. I’m consistently underwhelmed by Russia’s entries (ever since the adorable grannies). This kind of song, though? From Russia? lolol. I just imagine a little asterik “A Million Voices*”

*just not the gay ones. 

Denmark – Alright, Denmark. It’s like you know you can’t win again. Kudos to this guy, he’s alright but I don’t think he’s really serious haha.

Albania – I like it! It’s catchy, the vocals are good and it’s well-composed. May probably advance.

Romania – This song is surprisingly good, I think. It sounds beautiful in Romanian – even though I don’t understand a word. I’m curious to see how it does.

Georgia – YASSSS. YASSS, GEORGIA, YASSSSS. I’m loving this. What parallel universe am I living in where I’m actually super excited about an entry by Georgia?? Last year’s entry was terrible. TERRIBLE. But this? I am here for this. I assume they’ll advance and I really want them to.

What do you think, ESC fans? Agree? Disagree? Let me know!

Why I’m excited for the upcoming film ‘Home’

Next week, DreamWorks Studio will release its new animated film Home. Based on the children’s book “The True Meaning of Smekday,” by Adam Rex, the movie Home doesn’t look like a great film, to be honest. So then…why, you may ask, am I excited for a movie that looks like a cross between E.T. and Lilo & Stitch?

The answer is quite simple: Curly-haired representation.

This is the main character, Tip. She’s voiced by Rihanna. But do you see? Her hair. Her hair! It’s gorgeous, it’s bouncy, it’s CURLY! Now, it may seem like I’m overreacting…but trust me, I’m not. Curly-haired people often get shafted in popular media representation. The last main character with curly hair that I can remember was Merida from Brave (a great movie, btw). Aside from that, I’m hard-pressed to think of other memorable characters with curly hair.

The fact that DreamWorks has chosen a Person of Color as its main character is commendable, but to add in gorgeous natural hair to the mix? I live. This kind of representation is so, so important and I’m very happy to be seeing it.

Whereas I can’t speak to any experiences of being Black, I do have incredibly curly hair and I have been *this* close to buzzing it all off more than once in my life.


Sometimes having curly hair can be pretty lonely. When I was growing up, I always wanted to gel it up into epic spikes like my friends did. Whenever I tried to do so however, it would curl annoyingly and fall to my head like sad, udon noodles. I grew to resent my hair and the weird things it did when it got too long so I kept it short for much of my early life – trying to skirt by without drawing attention to it.

There are other times, though, when curly hair draws unwanted attention from people. As a child, I vividly remember older women who would always fawn over my hair, reaching out their gnarly, perfumed fingers to grab handfuls of it while exclaiming to my mother how beautiful it was. Now, as an adult, my hair continues to be grabbed in bars and clubs by hands that are attached to drunk, tactless people.

Even something as simple as creating a Mii on the Nintendo Wii leaves curly-haired people feeling a bit shafted. Six pages of hairstyles and not one that really reflects my hairstyle. For my Mii, I decided to just select the bulbous afro and call it a day.

Nintendo aside though, there is definitely a movement in the U.S. to accept natural hair – which I love. A great example of this is the Dove ‘Love Your Curls’ campaign. The video might be a bit hokey, but I will admit I teared up a bit when I first watched it.

As someone whose hair explodes from his head in a curly mess every day, seeing a character who has similar qualities feels good. It feels satisfying. It feels…long overdue. If I, an adult male, feel this way, then imagine how cool it must be for a little girl or boy who has curly hair to see Tip on the big screen in all her wild, frizzy glory.

At this point, I don’t particularly care whether Home is a good movie or not. I’m just excited because it not only represents curly-haired people, but also features a strong main character who isn’t White. I believe it’s a step in the right direction that I wish more companies would take. There are, of course, other characters and celebrity voices that are featured in this movie…but I honestly don’t care about them. I’m here for Tip and her gorgeous head of curly hair that will no doubt resonate with a segment of the audience that greatly deserves it.


Life has been a bit strange lately so I haven’t been able to devote as much time to writing/blog upkeep as I’d like to :(

Hopefully I’ll be able to have a post up soon! Eurovision is also happening soon(-ish) so that’ll give me something to wirte about surely!

Hope everyone is doing wonderfully! <333

(Mis)Adventures in dating – Kona Grill.

At the behest of a few friends, I’ve recently decided to start chronicling my experiences involving dating and dudes.

Let me start by saying that, when it comes to dating and love and all that, I’m pretty weird about it all. I’m a hardcore a bit of a commitmaphobe and if someone tries to push something resembling commitment on me or talks about ‘us’ in the future before I feel ready or comfortable with it, I will disappear. This is perhaps why I don’t go on many dates. And if I do, there’s rarely ever a second one.


One of the first train-wreck dates I went on was with a boy named Oliver (not his real name). Oliver and I had met through Myspace, back in the day when everyone had Top Eights,  and posted vague bulletins about their feelings.

I had agreed to meet him at a restaurant named Kona Grill. I had never been there, but I liked sushi and all that well enough so I figured I’d give it a try. I arrived at the restaurant a bit early and found Oliver standing out front. He seemed pretty nervous and stood up awkwardly to give me a hug. I was nervous too, but I think I was just better at hiding it.

Oliver looked very different from his expertly angled, black and white Myspace photos. He jawline was not nearly as sharp, he was a bit shorter and rounder than I had imagined and it looked like he had squeezed himself into the tightest pair of jeans he could manage. The scarf around his neck also seemed incredibly out of place in the August heat of South Texas.

He gave a nervous laugh as we were seated. Our date began with stale conversation about pretty boring topics. He asked about my family and possibly if I had any pets. I responded and couldn’t think of anything to ask him. I remember him smiling constantly – as if the corners of his mouth were being held up by an invisible tape of sorts. It was a bit unnerving.

Our conversation, at one point, moved into the ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ territory. He began talking about something he liked – I forget what it was, let’s say…menudo.

“Oh man, I don’t like all the tripa that comes in menudo.” I said with a grimace.

“Yeah, I mean it’s kinda gross…” he said. “But it’s way better than barbacoa. I can’t stand barbacoa.”

“Oh, I love barbacoa!” I said. “It’s so good.”

“Yeah, it is actually pretty tasty…” he replied with a nod and a smile.

What was going on? His opinions were changing in real-time with our conversation. It was almost as if he were trying to impress me and make himself seem more likable? I was very confused by it all.

The date went on like this for another uncomfortable hour or so. If we agreed on something, it was nice but whenever there was anything that we had differing opinions about, Oliver would casually switch his to whatever he thought I wanted to hear.

Eventually, we finished our meal. I was mentally exhausted with constantly agreeing with him – whether or not I wanted to. The waitress came by and asked how we wanted to handle the check.

“Separate! Please.” I said, possibly a bit too eagerly.

We exited the restaurant and made our way to a good separating point. Luckily, I was parked in the opposite direction as he was. We stopped and stood for a few beats, doing that awkward thing that happens at the end of a date when neither person knows what to do.



A short distance away, fireworks from Six Flags exploded in the sky above us. Yellows and reds and greens burst through the darkness. I’m sure it would have been very romantic had I been with anyone else.

“I had a really good time…” he said, turning and giving me a look that I felt belonged in a Nicholas Sparks movie.

“Yeah, it was…cool.” I said, fumbling over my words. I wanted to be nice but I also didn’t want to give him any hope of another date. What was I to do, what was I to do?

“I’d love to see you again,” he said, his hand reached out and took mine. I threw a nervous glance around.

“Ummm well…” I began. “I….”

It was happening. I couldn’t hold it in. It was like verbal diarrhea. I had already taken the first step, said the first words, and the rest was now just tumbling out.

“…I really think we’d be better of as just friends, man. I don’t think I feel the same way about you. Maybe we just don’t click on that level.”

I gently but firmly tugged my hand out of his clammy grasp. His face was a mix of surprise and hurt – exactly what I had been trying to avoid.

“It’s not that you’re not cool or nice or anything – you are,” I couldn’t stop. I was trying so hard to let him down easily but it was spiraling out of control.

“Oh…” he said simply. “…I guess I thought you were into it.”

“I mean, you’re really nice,” I said, unconsciously wiping my hand on my jeans. “I enjoyed meeting you. And like, we can be friends and stuff.”

An awkward silence settled over us. The only sound was the deep BOOM! of the fireworks as they continued their show in the sky.

“And you know what,” I added. “ I really liked Kona Grill!”

This was my desperate attempt to find something positive in this – any glimmer of sunshine that could possibly help break through this gray cloud of angst that was so quickly billowing from the boy in front of me.

He looked at me, his eyes dark and brooding and heaved a dramatic sigh.

“I wish I was Kona Grill.”

I stared back at him for a bit, dumbfounded. I was unsure what to say or do. Part of me wanted to give him a pity hug because he was obviously not handling this well. But another part of me was suppressing the urge to laugh. I mean, how could I not? What a ridiculous thing to say.


Oh, how I WISH I was a restaurant.



“Well…” was all I could manage to say without cracking a smile. “…er….sorry.”

Against my better judgement, I pulled him into a brief pity hug. My hand patted his back a couple of times before I bid him goodbye and headed back to my car.

On the drive home, I reflected about what had just happened. Had I been an asshole? Had he been too dramatic about the whole thing? Had it been a little of both?

If it had been me in his position, I would have rather my date be upfront about his lack of interest. Better that, I thought, than to continue feeding my one-sided infatuation with hope.

No, I decided, I did the right thing by nipping it in the bud. There were probably a million better ways that I could have done it, but I was young and clueless. I think that had I done it any other way, I still would have gotten the same melodramatic reaction.

It’s been eight years and I haven’t seen Oliver since. I have, however, been to Kona Grill several times and I still quite enjoy it. So I suppose it wasn’t a complete bust.


What do you think? Have you been in this position before? How did you handle it? Is honesty the best policy or is it good to give someone another chance even if you’re not feeling it? Is there a way to break this kind of news to someone and NOT hurt their feelings?